The Kids Are All Right

"I wish you *were* gay. You'd be more sensitive" an exasperated Jules says to her son Laser at one point during The Kids Are All Right (in the circumstances this is hugely ironic considering what Jules herself has been up to) An earlier misunderstanding had resulted in one of those cringeworthy "do you have anything to tell us" scenes. And yes, Laser did - but not what Jules and Nic (or the moms as daughter Joni calls them) suspected. In fact, it's something that turns out to be far more disruptive: the appearance of the children's sperm-donor father Paul, a laid back, organic gardener/restauranteur. Initially appalled, the moms decide to meet him too, which, with hindsight, is a *big* mistake. Paul and Jules immediately bond, and he offers her a job designing his garden, which in turn leads to a completely unexpected sexual relationship. Nic, the odd one out with her lack of enthusiasm for this unlooked-for masculine presence, ups the wine intake (not good for anyone's peace of mind) In fact, Nic has more in common with Paul than she thinks, as is revealed by an impromptu rendition of Joni Mitchell at a dinner party (cue fondly embarrassed kids yet again) Actually one thing all 3 adults share is a perceptive dislike for Laser's best friend Clay, which indicates that the parental instinct is in full working order all round. Alas, that moment of connection over Joni M is immediately destroyed when Nic finds evidence of Jules' infidelity. Yet this is a resilient, if unconventional, family and the fractures don't ultimately break them apart. Laser, ever the sensitive one, is pleased they're not going to split up - pause - "you're too old" ...
The great strength of the film (apart from some fabulously barbed dialogue) is that you could swap the lesbian couple for a straight couple and it would still work perfectly. The whole point is NOT the characters' sexuality, but the relationships within the family unit. Hardworking, sensible Nic and hippyish Jules are reflected in their children, respectively bright Joni and bemused Laser. The kids react to their moms just like any teenagers (exasperation, embarrassment, outright irritation) while the moms have to come to terms with the imminent departure of their babies. An interloper makes one of the couple feel desirable once more, while festering resentments surface on all sides just as in any long-term relationship (and Nic and Jules have been together longer than many "normal" marriages) Not that Paul is merely the villain of the piece. He's as blindsided as Jules by this sudden passion and he's actually delighted to discover he's a father. More to the point, it forces him to grow up. He's genuinely despairing when it seems the children have turned against him, yet Joni's small act of taking his hat with her to university implies that all is not lost. It's a reflection of the generous spirit of the film as a whole.